The Lies Between Us
by xsetfirex
Summary: The big Hydra threat is over, the team are trying to get their lives back on track. Grant Ward is a traitor, and a liar, but nothing is ever that black and white, not when you are dealing with spies. There is always more to a story than anyone knows and sometimes, you have to lie to protect the people that you care for. Skyeward.


_Authors note._

_This has been playing on my mind for some time. I kind of wanted to explore the what if, here it is._

_Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters. _

**Prologue**

My hands felt tight behind my back. I could feel the cuffs digging into my skin. But the pain that hurt the most was coming from my larynx. I hadn't tried to speak, I couldn't, what was I suppose to say? Instead I refused to look Coulson in the eye and kept my mouth shut. It was over.

The guards took me away placing me into a vehicle. I knew exactly where it was headed. I stayed quiet in the car, I stayed quiet when I was pulled into interrogation room and I stayed quiet for the two hours that I sat waiting for him to come.

The door sprung open and he appeared, taking a seat and nodding at me.

'Congratulations, Agent Ward, mission complete.' Director Fury shook his head. I put my cuffed hands on the table, allowing him to unlock them. I rubbed my wrists, gaining feeling back in them after being freed.

'It wasn't without complications.' I croaked. I could feel the pain and I instantly winced, trying to clear my throat.

'May really did a number on you. You will need to get that taken care of.' Fury pointed to my throat, as I narrowed my eyes at him.

'What was I suppose to do? Kill her?' The pain was coursing through me.

'It's over now. You did well. The main threat is out. Of course, Shield has gone under but we managed to cut the head of Hydra. We can now build on a good honest foundation. The sleepers have been revealed and now we are left with the true dedicated agents. Of course, we had lost a few agents but it could have been worse. The bloodshed was never part of my plan but what's done is done.' I felt a pang of emotion wave through me.

'Agent Hand?' I struggled to get it out.

'She is pissed that no one let her in on the mission and even more that she now has to play dead. It was better that she didn't know though. Koenig was the hardest to clean up after. But, he was a soldier.' I looked down not being able to think about him.

'Ward, he was a dying man and he asked to make his death mean something. He did it for Shield. The tumor was killing him and he was deteriorating further, he knew what was coming and asked to be put out of his misery. He wanted to go out for Shield, to take down Hydra. He was planning on taking the euthanasia drug anyway, he just speed it up a few weeks to make sure that his death meant something. It wasn't as though you killed him.' I knew what he was saying was true, but it didn't make me feel better. I objected so many times but he took the drug before I could stop him. He was already dead; I did what I had to as I cringed thinking about the body.

'Fitzsimmons.' I felt my chest tighten thinking about them.

'Simmons is safe; it was just a good thing that you switched the tracker on before you ejected the pod. It was meant to float, I don't know why it sunk but you did the right thing, Garrett would have killed them.'

'Fitz?'

'He is a tough kid, he will be fine.' He assured me, though I didn't believe him. I did that to him. I never wanted him and Simmons caught in this. They never harmed anyone and they were the innocent ones. I didn't want any bloodshed that was my only rule. I remembered the day I told Fury that. It was a week before Coulson pulled me from my Paris mission, just like I knew he would, because we knew what was happening.

**Eight months ago**

'_You almost fooled me out there.' Maria Hill crossed her arms, her back leaning against the wall of the office. I shrugged; it was a piece of cake._

'_You'd be surprised how often you get invited to the party when you don't want to go.' _

'_Your shocked face at seeing Coulson alive had been one of your best.' I had assumed that was a joke but her face was serious. I never could read Maria._

'_I practiced in front of the mirror.' I wasn't in the mood for talking. I just wanted to get the mission started and get it over. The sooner I was free from Garrett and Hydra the better._

'_Are you ready?' _

'_This isn't my first undercover, Hill.' I reminded her._

'_I know but you're going to be living with these people. You're not the most social person but you're going to have to make an effort to be apart of the team.'_

'_Why? It's not like I am going to remain pals with them after this is over. I'm there to just do my job, I go in, play my role and then when I'm finished Hydra is eliminated. I don't need to make friends.' I told her the truth. I wasn't going to lie and say I promise that I will try. It's not my job to be a pal to these people. _

'_Remember, you have no idea that Melinda May is a part of this team and watch her. She is sharp and she would be the one to suspect first.'_

'_I got it.'_

'_Ok, I guess that we will see you when this is over.'_

**Present**

'What happens now?' I asked Fury.

'For now we get you healed. You took a beating and you need some time to yourself. Then once you have recovered, we decide what to do then. Coulson is the new director so I will make it so that he is too busy to check in on you. I can cover the fact that you are not in prison, but, eventually, you may need to go back undercover.'

'No.' I told him.

'No?'

'I did my job, I hurt innocent people, ones I cared for. I am not lying to them again. It's finished.' I had done everything they wanted, I eliminated the threat of Garrett, and I betrayed my team. I lost the only family I had known, and the only woman that I ever loved, because I did love her, I loved her and I broke her heart and in the progress broke mine. But I would not ruin their lives again; I cared about them too much. Agent Grant Ward, betrayer of Shield and Hydra sleeper is over. I will not be that lie, not after what it cost me. Everything.


End file.
